Its been a while since I have written anything. Every time something happens to me I have intentions to write but never get around to it. 12 hours does take its toll on you but I have been going through some things mentally and emotionally (the same right?). So I came to the conclusion that yeah I need to get my gym membership and stop playing and start focusing on my goals and what my dreams and desires are in life. I already got one out the way and that was getting my own car, which I am paying for with NO co-signer, which I might add I feel good when I pay on it every month cause the payments (payoff that is) is getting lower and lower. It puts a smile on my face and I thank God for that blessing. Just have to get everything else up and running. With that said I am going to help myself to another cup of coffee and chill out. I will come back with details on whats going on with my life and other things around me...OH YEAH!! Almost forgot John Allen Muhammad, the DC Sniper has been executed. He was pronounced dead at 9:11pm on November 10th...for military folk the time is 21:11 LOL! Peace and Blessings!!!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
True Happiness
Good afternoon all,
Yeah I know its been a min but I had to take some time out and get "me" situated. I have been depressed and not happy with myself for like the past month or so. I have been having issues at work and dealing with my mom being diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Yes, I was very shocked and asked the humiliating-selfish questions that EVERYONE asks to themselves "Why me?", "Why my family?", and "Why MY mother?". If you ever gone through something you have asked yourself one if not all these questions at one point and time in your life. After going with her to her surgeries and making sure she is comfortable, going to work, paying bills, etc., I just became down and out. I lost my focus and was getting caught up in the mess at work that was dealing with me. I would go to church looking for a Word for me and became dissatisfied because there wasn't one.
It was until recently that I heard Fred Hammond's new song "They That Wait" is when I got a new awakening. I began talking to someone at work about my problems especially in the work place and my co-worker began telling me how the same very people ridiculed me and talked about me behind my back were the same ones that did it to her. I couldn't believe it! I was in disbelief. Then I invited her to bible study and if as if God was all up in her and I's conversation LOL! Bible study talked about trials and temptations and the difference between the two. I just couldn't believe it. Then as I was going to work I began to noticed the beauty in God everywhere. All the mess that's going on with the government and what they are trying to do to us, everything that I have been seeing that being completed in the Book of Revelation, so many people coming to God cause they have nowhere else to go, it was as if God was saying "be happy through out, its going to be ok." God knows and everything that was putting fear in me and making me depressed and weary and question things came through this one revelation (epiphany or however you want to call it).
I have to always remember as a child of God I am protected. As long as the Holy Spirit lives inside of me I am protected. Whatever happens to me whether its through health or whatever the cause maybe I am protected. I am so happy and I can feel it in my soul!!! In whatever you are going through, whatever mistakes you may have made, whatever trials God is taking you through, try to remember to count it all joy. Its a purpose in EVERYTHING that happens to you...its a realization of something God needs for you to have in your life to fulfill your purpose. Hope this blog finds you well. Until next time...
Yeah I know its been a min but I had to take some time out and get "me" situated. I have been depressed and not happy with myself for like the past month or so. I have been having issues at work and dealing with my mom being diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Yes, I was very shocked and asked the humiliating-selfish questions that EVERYONE asks to themselves "Why me?", "Why my family?", and "Why MY mother?". If you ever gone through something you have asked yourself one if not all these questions at one point and time in your life. After going with her to her surgeries and making sure she is comfortable, going to work, paying bills, etc., I just became down and out. I lost my focus and was getting caught up in the mess at work that was dealing with me. I would go to church looking for a Word for me and became dissatisfied because there wasn't one.
It was until recently that I heard Fred Hammond's new song "They That Wait" is when I got a new awakening. I began talking to someone at work about my problems especially in the work place and my co-worker began telling me how the same very people ridiculed me and talked about me behind my back were the same ones that did it to her. I couldn't believe it! I was in disbelief. Then I invited her to bible study and if as if God was all up in her and I's conversation LOL! Bible study talked about trials and temptations and the difference between the two. I just couldn't believe it. Then as I was going to work I began to noticed the beauty in God everywhere. All the mess that's going on with the government and what they are trying to do to us, everything that I have been seeing that being completed in the Book of Revelation, so many people coming to God cause they have nowhere else to go, it was as if God was saying "be happy through out, its going to be ok." God knows and everything that was putting fear in me and making me depressed and weary and question things came through this one revelation (epiphany or however you want to call it).
I have to always remember as a child of God I am protected. As long as the Holy Spirit lives inside of me I am protected. Whatever happens to me whether its through health or whatever the cause maybe I am protected. I am so happy and I can feel it in my soul!!! In whatever you are going through, whatever mistakes you may have made, whatever trials God is taking you through, try to remember to count it all joy. Its a purpose in EVERYTHING that happens to you...its a realization of something God needs for you to have in your life to fulfill your purpose. Hope this blog finds you well. Until next time...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Agitated, amongst other things...
Have you ever had a period in your life where you were just real agitated about some things? That's how I have been feeling lately. I don't want to be bothered by people, I don't wanna be around people. I just wanna be by myself but at the same time I want to be around only ONE person cause I know that person WILL make me feel like how I am suppose to. Maybe I am feeling this way because it has been 2 months and some change since I have had sex...you know built up sex. I am dealing with dumb shit at work that unnecessary. Its like the more I try to be friendly and speak to people to show that I am not a bad fucking person the more hatred comes my way. I feel like going to work and talking to no one...then once I do that I have a problem, right? Bills are getting on my nerves...it seems like I can't even make a dent in my student loans...I am beginning to crush my car payments though off top. I gave them more then they were asking as well as the student loans, but the student loans are on some bullshit...but I digress from that issue. Sprint hit me with the okie doke and I have until the 19th of September to come up with with money for a new phone, new plan, and a new wireless provider. The dilemma I am having is the phone I want is $300 and some change but the plan is cheap and affordable for one wireless provider, the other provider has a cheap phone I like for like $200 and some change but their plan is higher and some what affordable...WAS trying to get my phone bought by someone else but that isn't going to happen...I really don't feel like getting into that one...ANYWAYZ and on top of it all my mother and her medical situation that I am dealing with...its like everything is hitting me at once and I am backed into a corner...no hands stretching out, no advice from others, no nothing. ONCE AGAIN I am by myself...its like I always said I am ALWAYS there but when its my turn can't find shit! SMH!!
I actually take that back...I have had people ask bout my mom and how she was doing and everything but the ONLY person that I can recall was my boo. He was constantly asking me how I was doing and everything and he was OUT OF THE COUNTRY...smh yeah I know sad but very true. I really miss him right now...that has got to be my problem...I don't know I am just confused on alot and I feel like I don't have time...hopefully something with break through in a matter of time...
I actually take that back...I have had people ask bout my mom and how she was doing and everything but the ONLY person that I can recall was my boo. He was constantly asking me how I was doing and everything and he was OUT OF THE COUNTRY...smh yeah I know sad but very true. I really miss him right now...that has got to be my problem...I don't know I am just confused on alot and I feel like I don't have time...hopefully something with break through in a matter of time...
Friday, August 14, 2009
What A Day!!!
You know today was pretty crazy! First of I wouldn't have thought I would be blogging about this but hey, this is a venting session for me. Like I said today was a crazy ass day! It has all started from yesterday when I received a funky ass letter from Sprint telling me they ARE going to terminate my account. Why you ask? Sprint DECIDED to call me one day and say , "hey we keep seeing that you are going over BECAUSE you are roaming so why don't we suggest the UNLIMITED plan." Ok, that's fine but NOW they are hitting me with you keep going over the roaming minutes on your unlimited plan....WTF? Yeah, I know some BULLSHIT! So, today I was bill paying and wireless provider shopping when I went to go pay insurance and the amount was higher due the the fact they decided to add late fees ALL OF A SUDDEN, that pissed me off. Then I was on my way home and got into a FUCKING accident cause I wasn't paying attention with all the bullshit on my mind. Smh...yeah so I called my insurance about the accident, got chewed out by my sweety (yeah he was hot with me), and then I went to sleep...
So, now I am sitting here thinking of what to do with the rest of my evening. I am contemplating on going to a party my job is throwing. I need to wash my hair too...FUCK IT, I need to relax my mind...I think Imma go ahead and go to the joint and just let the stress loose...well, thanks for listening ya'll or should I say reading lol...until next time...
Oh yeah...follow me and I'll follow you...
So, now I am sitting here thinking of what to do with the rest of my evening. I am contemplating on going to a party my job is throwing. I need to wash my hair too...FUCK IT, I need to relax my mind...I think Imma go ahead and go to the joint and just let the stress loose...well, thanks for listening ya'll or should I say reading lol...until next time...
Oh yeah...follow me and I'll follow you...
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sincere Or Not?
I just finished watching Chris Brown's apology and um...I really don't know what to think. Looking at this vid he comes off like he doesn't want to do it...more like he is being forced. He doesn't look at the camera and he just sits there and reads. Now the pics from the court hearing looked more sincere and regretful then he did in this apology vid. But who is to say he isn't sincere. It is more than one way to look at the vid...
You could look at it and say...
1. Yeah he is for real. Forgive him and hope he comes out with a hot banger in the near future.
2. Uhhhh...he looks like it but you want a more "from the heart" apology. You know, one that isn't rehearsed and it is off the top of his head. Just come out with his true feelings to Rihanna and his fans.
3. He is bullshitting! Probably his PR people are making him say something so he won't look like a total asshole.
Some might say he should have apologized way before now. Maybe during the court proceedings or right before...in other words pulled a T.I. and just been real with it and said hey, I fucked up please forgive me, I am human with a problem that I am seeking help for. We ARE human and we do make mistakes and it seems so hard for folk to forgive depending on the degree of the mistake. Chris Brown and Rihanna are a young couple and probably if at all didn't know how to deal with certain issues in their relationship.
Don't get me wrong I am not defending Chris Brown. He is wrong for what he did, and I am glad he came out with an apology for it. Hopefully this vid with let a lot of things go and we can get back to the important things in life. He apologized, now go buy his records and let him live. LOL! To me...it seems like he might be sincere with it but I think he should have come at it from his own words and not something written for him to "sound good". You can sound good with a heartfelt, no rehearsed apology and still get the forgiveness needed. My thing is as long as he asked Rihanna and God for forgiveness and they forgave him, then he straight with me.
Until next time her is a clip...oh and read my homies' blog about it whenever she posts...
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhMvCi1v1G2kT5r4LU
You could look at it and say...
1. Yeah he is for real. Forgive him and hope he comes out with a hot banger in the near future.
2. Uhhhh...he looks like it but you want a more "from the heart" apology. You know, one that isn't rehearsed and it is off the top of his head. Just come out with his true feelings to Rihanna and his fans.
3. He is bullshitting! Probably his PR people are making him say something so he won't look like a total asshole.
Some might say he should have apologized way before now. Maybe during the court proceedings or right before...in other words pulled a T.I. and just been real with it and said hey, I fucked up please forgive me, I am human with a problem that I am seeking help for. We ARE human and we do make mistakes and it seems so hard for folk to forgive depending on the degree of the mistake. Chris Brown and Rihanna are a young couple and probably if at all didn't know how to deal with certain issues in their relationship.
Don't get me wrong I am not defending Chris Brown. He is wrong for what he did, and I am glad he came out with an apology for it. Hopefully this vid with let a lot of things go and we can get back to the important things in life. He apologized, now go buy his records and let him live. LOL! To me...it seems like he might be sincere with it but I think he should have come at it from his own words and not something written for him to "sound good". You can sound good with a heartfelt, no rehearsed apology and still get the forgiveness needed. My thing is as long as he asked Rihanna and God for forgiveness and they forgave him, then he straight with me.
Until next time her is a clip...oh and read my homies' blog about it whenever she posts...
http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshhMvCi1v1G2kT5r4LU
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Independenc Day: A New Meaning
Disclaimer: This was actually written while I was at work on July 5th...so bare with me.
Hello World! Once again I was in thought. Unfortunately I had to work July 4th, bummer right? As I was watching the sky light up with fireworks it suddenly dawned on me...July 4th isn't just another holiday where we recognize that America declared its independence some centuries ago. It has become true. What I mean is America has a black president, mixed, mulatto...whatever you want to call him. Freedom has a new meaning. We have come from fighting with England to be free, to ending Slavery, to ending Jim crow laws, to equal rights for all regardless of color...It really makes you think wow we've really fought for independence no matter what the issue was...women's' rights, equal opportunities at jobs regardless of age, sex, color, etc...in some way, form, or fashion America has fought to break a chain that led us to be free more and more. Regardless of what Obama's ethnicity is...the color on his skin is brown, which constitutes black, which ALSO is another stepping stone for us when it comes to freedom. Maybe its just me thinking this way...I am just weird like that...LOL!
Hello World! Once again I was in thought. Unfortunately I had to work July 4th, bummer right? As I was watching the sky light up with fireworks it suddenly dawned on me...July 4th isn't just another holiday where we recognize that America declared its independence some centuries ago. It has become true. What I mean is America has a black president, mixed, mulatto...whatever you want to call him. Freedom has a new meaning. We have come from fighting with England to be free, to ending Slavery, to ending Jim crow laws, to equal rights for all regardless of color...It really makes you think wow we've really fought for independence no matter what the issue was...women's' rights, equal opportunities at jobs regardless of age, sex, color, etc...in some way, form, or fashion America has fought to break a chain that led us to be free more and more. Regardless of what Obama's ethnicity is...the color on his skin is brown, which constitutes black, which ALSO is another stepping stone for us when it comes to freedom. Maybe its just me thinking this way...I am just weird like that...LOL!
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